"At last I see the light, It's like the fog has lifted!"

Wow, so I don't know if it is kosher to always talk about how happy you are or how amazing your boyfriend is, but I am going to do it anyways I hope I don't offend anyone!!

So my life seems to be getting better and better as the days go by. Until today I have been so worried about things coming crashing down like they always have. But as I was spending time with John tonight I just couldn't find anything to worry about, and all my fears were gone. I know that I relate my posts to songs quite often but right now I feel like so many songs can sum up my life better then I can. So a couple of weeks ago John took me to go see Tangled, and I absolutely loved it. :) and when I was at work that night I bought the sound track off itunes. (I'm a sucker for love songs) and on caught my eye called "I See the Light" but I just thought it was a really good until tonight while I was driving to work I heard it and I was like OMG that is exactly what I felt like tonight!! I mean I have been through so much and I remember always seeing those couples madly in love and not noticing anyone else around them, I was always so jealous of those people because I never thought that I would have that. Once I thought that I had that, but it wasn't like I had thought it wasn't perfect and I was always worrying, and for good reason because not to long after it started it came crashing to a halt. So I was really bitter about love for the longest time. Until recently I really had given up, until John came into my life. Tonight while we were just cuddling I looked up at him and I just go this overwhelming sense of peace, or maybe it was joy I don't even know what it was but my heart was seriously over flowing with love. I thought that I knew what love was until tonight I found a whole new meaning of love. Like the song says, At last I see the light, it's like the fog has lifted. I truly know what love feels like and I don't ever want it to end and i don't think that it will. :)

So that is my rant on my truly wonderful life right now!!!

"Thank God for all i've missed, cause it led me here to this"

Well it has been a really long time since I posted and a lot of things have been going on in my life so I will give a quick run through of my life from the past 5 months. So since July I have driven back to VA, and moved into an apartment back there, drove to NC to spend time with Sarah Wiggins (my brothers fiance) back to VA to try and get into school. That didn't end up happening so I was looking for a job and found one at Apple bees, worked there for two days and had to quit because of this horrible feeling I had. After that I kind of had a rough patch and wasn't living in the best situation so I started thinking it was time for me to come back to Utah. so I talked to my family a lot I talked to Sarah a lot and went and stayed with her for a little bit and decided it was best to move back home. So I packed all of my stuff up and said my goodbyes and headed home. My car broke down when i was in Ohio with my Aunt getting ready to leave. Once my car got fixed I made the long trip to Utah. I made it home and started working at my old job, I drove down to Arizona for my best friends wedding and had a lot of time to think about what i needed to do with my life and the things I needed to cut out. So I decided that from then on I was going to try and be my best self! In December I got to witness Ryan and Sarah's engagement that is where I really decided that things in my life were changing. I started going to the singles ward and doing things with them, and that is where I am right now in my life. I just started dating the most amazing guy I have probably ever met. He is an engineer and super sweet!!!! Tonight at work he was supposed to be sleeping (i work 11:45-8am) and I get this text from him saying guess what?, me of course thinks that something bad has happened like his new house was burning down or something like that. But nope he responds saying "You are absolutely beautiful, and I just realized that I don't tell you that often enough" I was in awe.....I have never had any guy tell me that. I have had the biggest smile on my face for like 45 minutes and I am pretty its not gonna be going away anytime soon :) and this brings me to the title of this blog, I heard this song by Darius Rucker on the radio the other day called "This" and it fits my life perfectly. because right now I am realizing that everything that I thought I was missing out on when it was happening was really just leading me to this point in my life :)